This semester, I started believing in fate.
I never have before. I always rolled my eyes at the people who claim they're meant for each other, that they would have been a *insert religious affiliation* even if they hadn't been born in a *insert religious affiliation* family, that their career was their "one true calling." I've said that these people would have found other ways to be happy, other people, other jobs, other beliefs.
I still believe that. But I'm also starting to believe in fate.
Two huge coincidences happened within a span of a few weeks of each other.
The first was a yellow dress. The second was a chance meeting. Both have had a profound effect on my belief in fate. By that I mean, they've created one.
Let's start with the first: Two years ago, I dated a man named A. A was the first man I ever fell in love with. I'd had boyfriends before, but not like this. We dated a year, then he cheated on me and broke my heart. The day we said goodbye, I remember hanging up the phone, then looking at my computer. I had been looking at a yellow dress I was obsessed with, long sold out and extremely popular. I knew I'd never find it. So I promised myself, the day I had that yellow dress would be the day I could speak with A.
A year went by. It was a rough year, but I survived. I made friends, I did well in school, and even though I didn't want to admit it, I was happier without A. I never forgot him, but I did forget the yellow dress. Until one day last March.
One of the community members on a website that offers Anthro items for sale had contacted me. They'd seen my listing long ago for the yellow dress and had one to sell me. In my size. For a rock bottom price. I jumped on it, only briefly flashing back to my promise, but then brushing it aside. I still didn't believe in fate.
Then, a week after I had the dress in my hand (it was perfect, by the way), a familiar screen name IMed me. It was A. I looked from my laptop to my closet, shaken. This was way freaky. To make a long story short, we talked, we had drinks, we sobbed, we even kissed. I wore the yellow dress. And then we walked away from each other again, this time forever. But the fact remains, he IMed me, out of the blue, a week after that dress was in my house. Creepy?
Wait until you hear this. Last week, I met someone at my friend M's dorm. J was like me in pretty much every way possible. It was like I was staring at my twin. We hung out for a week, talking all the time, discovering we had more and more in common. On Thursday, I found out he had met meet the day after he broke up with a girl he had nothing in common with. I was wearing the yellow dress. That day, he told me he had feelings for me, we kissed, and the next day, had a huge fight and never spoke to each other again, just like with A. I decided the dress was cursed.
But then I saw him again on Monday, on my way to work. And on Tuesday, in the library when I was going to print out a paper. And Wednesday, when I was in the honors center in my Life After Death class. And again today, heading to class. Ready for the freaky part? To my knowledge, I've never seen this guy around before last week. And I'm starting to get very creeped out by it.
No, I don't think he's stalking me, and no I'm not stalking him; that's not to reason why I'm creeped. I'm creeped because I think the amount we've run into each other is too much to be a coincidence, and I don't think it was a coincidence that I bought the yellow dress and one week later A came back into my life, if only briefly. And I can't explain it rationally. That's what scares me.
I'm not going to be like those people that just says "GODDIDIT" or even "FATEDIDIT." I honestly don't know what's going on. But I don't like it when I can't explain things. And I can't explain those two occurrences, or any of the others had over the past couple of years (which I'll talk about another time when I'm not late to meet up with a friend).
Regardless, that yellow dress is probably going to hang unworn for a long, long time.
~Ri
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